Since I was 11 (don't ever remember might be it started during I was standard 3 in school)
My siblings and I do have a lot of experiences... the biiter one mixed up with the niest one
But all the bitter make us attached together until now they got the numbers in my hearts
Parent off course got their own number..

I still belief only those who can survive to the test/takdir that Tuhan brought would survived
That was atok,aki n wan(our beloved granpa's n grandma) always said
They said I'm the eldest I have to take care of my siblings..and the responsible always be there
Once I never thought what the test was...
But trust us..our childhood not so good..but loaded with memories

I wrote not to insult anyone..not to make anyone sad...whatever happen I still loved the ones I loves
Our leader, no one can change that
Whatever happened, what ever will be happen
But sometimes tired/bored to those who always like to see the defeated one
Do we brought any problems to you all
We survived as always got supports from the one who loves us..mak,ayah,late atok,wan n aki.. pak usu
And also to mention aunties who always supports us..

I always remembered when I was on 10 - 11
attacked by those people that I still remembered her face, their faces, what they do and so fort
The villagers.... I'm not save up my anger, my revenge..but stiill they never changed
either way time has passed and everything was changed...why they want to hurt us all over again....
I stil remember being attacked by them at wan's house, mak getting curse in the bus by an aunty someone that should help to support us we only child that time
I dont remember if they still remember that time... whatever it is I knew that we still remembered those part
We ever told to ayah and we knew that ayah felt sorry and we still loved him
We ever told mak and until now she gives us good advice just be patient ..Tuhan knows..

And now..
Parents got no problem and we could accept makcik and adik2 ..
so what the matters and whts' truly the problems now....
Some of my collegue do said where you got your confident...
I ever said to them..sometimes my confident was a fake
I have to... if not, we cannot survived and we don't want to make mak, ayah more suffer because of 'they' want to see all us defeated by their games

Still now,
Sometimes I want to thank to them
we couldn't survived and we couldn't get what we got now if they don't stressed us like what we ever experienced..
And without going thru all experiences we never learnt what people could do to us
And quote from my frens "biarlahhh...tuhan tu ada adakala jd mengalah tu better dr outstanding"
And quote from CT's lyric
"Apapun yang terjadi
Berjalanlah tanpa henti
Air mata tertahan
Waktu untuk dijatuhkan

Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apapun ini
Pelajaran yang berarti".....

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin ...
To my siblings and ayah : Kangah do loved you as I loved Mak...Hope this was not our ending..We've survived ones and will be survive as permit by Tuhan.
To others: Do accept my apology.. sometimes human didn't realize what they said hurts and could changed peoples...
To those who hurts us : Just stop hurting! You never knw when your time is..